Tripod - Too Many Remotes lyrics

All I wanna do
Is watch TV with you
But I’ve got too many remotes
In my life

Trying to watch a DVD
Which remote’s for the TV?
Do I have to press AV?
Or is the input DVD slash LD TV slash slash something
Oh, fuck!

What order do I have to turn things on?
Why am I hearing channel 9
But seeing 31?

(Yon does the little solo)

Fucking batteries!
Yon, looks like you’re going to have to get yourself two AAA’s, man.
What about 3 AA’s?
It doesn’t work like that, mate
Six 1A’s?
You’re on your own, Yon
Two thirds of a nine volt?
Shut the fuck up, please!

They can put a man on the moon
But they can’t help me
It’s like I need Houston mission control
Just to watch The Simpsons on TV
When I have a house sitter come to stay,
I have to set aside a whole day
To type a four page document
Briefing them on what to do

I’m so tired of all these buttons
Look at how complicated life has gotten
Too many remotes!

So, Gatesy, have you seen those ones you can get where it’s like this single remote and you program in all the model numbers of all your other remotes and then it controls all your stuff!
It’s a universal remote.
Universal remote!
One remote to rule them all!
I’m not chucking that into Mt Doom.

For um… For, for two points this week, I nominate… Yonny… for talking over my guitar solo. This affects my time in the house because… it makes me feel extremely frustrated…
Scod, I need you to be less specific in your answer

Come on, let’s take this home!
Tripod: Too many remotes
Too many remotes
Too many remotes
In my…
Yon: My mum’s still got one with the cord on it.