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Tripod - Krap Karate lyrics

Krap karate...
Krap karate...
Krap karate...
Krap karate...
It's not... comin' to get ya.

I'm trained in a special skill,
To not look like I could kill.
There's a poster on my bedroom wall,
Of Steven Seagal, krap karate...

I haven't studied, I never fight (Fight fight fight)
I watch Buffy every night (Night night night...)
If you pick on me, there won't be a threat,
You'll only get, krap karate...

My hands are lethal weapons,
Provided I'm holding a gun.
I'm registered with the Government,
As a... taxpayer.

Such krap karate
Jackie Chan's got everything on me,
Don't move over, Bruce Lee.
I could go at any moment,
I'm a great exponent of...
Krap karate...

Yee! Hoe! Yoomp! Shing!

Hi, I'm Yon,
An expert with a knife.
A surgeon, a craftsman,
A master of the deadly blades,
Silent death...

Yee! Hoe! Yoomp! Shing!

Hi, I'm Gatesy...

(Interrupting)... so silent, you don't hear a thing.
It's just... (makes blade-spinning-through-air noises)... uuuurgh.
Well, actually, it would be more like... (pause)... uuuurgh.

And at close quarters... (makes stabbing noises),
I can use my knife silencer... (pause).

Hi, I'm Gatesy,
Demolitions expert.
Master of C4, A4, and foolscap.
And if we get into trouble,
I can call for reinforcements.
(Those circular adhesive labels...)
I can pick off any moving target,
Until they are... stationery!
Really loud death.

Yee! Hoe! Yoomp! Shing!

Hi, I'm Scod,
Seamstress.

Hey! He makes the costumes.
It's a very important role.

All three of us, highly trained in the art of

Krap karate

Late in the evenin', I'm havin' drinks with my girl, (Cafe Latte)
I'm her protector, the great defender of her world. (After the party)
She grabs my chest, my pecs are burning with desire,
And the hairs on my legs...this call is being charged at $8.90 an hour...

Jackie Chan's got everyone on me,
Don't move over, Bruce Lee.
Don't come any closer,
Unless you want a dose-of
Krap karate!

Looks great in a mirror!