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The Rohan Theatre Band - Please Remain Seated lyrics

Will all patrons please remain seated,
Whilst I belittle myself to amuse you,
For I've tried pretty melodies and sensitive lines,
But the effort just seemed to confuse you.
So will all patrons please remain seated,
Whilst I teach this Chinese monkey to sing,
For the words of a genius are nothing at all,
But a monkey that sings always wins.

Will all patrons please remain seated,
Whilst I plunge this knife deep into my chest,
And I'll lay out my heart on this tabletop,
And I'll sell you my bloodied vest.
For once I was a singer of ballads,
A purveyor of music from the heart,
But now I have learnt that that is never enough,
You want blood and that's something I've got.

You want tears and that's something I'll offer,
You want sex, well I can give you that too,
You want something to shock you right out of your slumber,
And I know that's getting harder to do.
So will all patrons please remain seated,
Whilst I sharped this axe on my tongue,
For I used to believe in a thing called Art,
But it seems it was only pretend.

And I used to believe in compassion,
And a thing called morality too,
But the world has moved on since the days of my youth,
And I've done everything I can do.
So will all patrons please remain seated,
Whilst I turn in my grave once again,
For I used to believe in a thing called Art,
But it seems I was the only one.