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The Last Felony - Televisionary lyrics

He was discovered early this morning by former co-workers in a public bathroom at his former workplace. it was revealed by the police that he had been there since Thursday evening. it is presumed that he chose that date because of the extended weekend to provide and extra day of decaying before he would be discovered. The body was found naked, with all major arteries slashed, and as is the case with most hangings, both the body's bowels and bladder gave out. It was revealed through forensics, that he was also covered in vomit, caused by having swallowed rotten milk, presumably on purpose. And semen from having masturbated one last time before using the blade to mutilate his genitals to cause all the blood to come out. One can safely assume that he wanted to be found covered in as many vital fluids as possible when eh would be discovered. Co-workers described the sight, especially the smell, to be intolerable and are noted as being in need of psychiatric help as a result of making this gruesome discovery, and were all sent home from work to try and recover. Most were said to be in a state of shock, and emergency grief counsellors were sent to the scene. The only witness who agreed to discuss the incident with us stated that he could not believe his former co-worker had done this: That he seemed like such a normal person who always minded his own business and kept to himself. he then broke down and started crying and repeatedly asked, over and over: Why would anyone do this?