The Cable Car Theory - Analysis lyrics

I have somehow gained this reputation for being ever optimistic,
but every time I close my eyes that's the last thing on my mind.
I somehow betrayed this relationship between me
and myself that you see, and this was my responsibility,
and now I know and I wish it all away.
It's hard to admit that even I rely upon this tested
and true excuse that never fails to fail,
"I wish it all away."