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Team StarKid - Different As Can Be (Apocalyptour) lyrics

Brian R:
You won't sleep on your tummy

Joe:
You won't sleep on your back

Both:
We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree

Brian R:
We share some hands and fingers

Joe:
And yet the feeling lingers

Both:
We're just about as different
As anyone can be...

Joe:
You like plotting a garden
And I like plotting to kill

Brian R:
You think that you should rule the world
I think books are a thrill!

Sipping tea by the fire is swell

Joe:
Pushing people in is fun as well!

I like folding all my ties

Brian R:
And you have no friends
Hey, that's a surprise

Both:
I guess it's plain to see
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can be

Joe:
You're a sissy, a twat, a girl!
I'm the darkest of lords!

Brian R:
I'm the brightest professor here
I've won several awards

Joe:
My new world is about to unfold

Brian R:
You got beat by a two year old

Joe:
I'll kill him this time through and through

Brian R:
Or you might just give him another tattoo

Both:
You really must agree
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can

Joe:
I'll rise again and I'll rule the world
But you must help me renew
For when our plan succeeds

Brian R:
(Spoken) Prevails!

Joe:
Part of that world goes to you

Brian R:
When I rule the world, I'll plant flowers...

Joe:
When I rule the world, I'll have snakes...

Joe:   (Brian R:)
And goblins, and thestrals
(And Jane Austin novels...)
A fleet of dementors
And giants, and werewolves
And all my Death Eaters!

Both:
When I rule the world!

I guess it's plain to see
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can be

We simply guarantee
When you look at you and me
We're different
Different
As can be

Brian R:
It's a comedy of sorts
When you're bound to Voldemort

Joe:
And I'm happy as a squirrel
'Long as I'm with Mr. Quirrell

Both:
We'll lead 'em to the slaughter,
And we'll murder Harry Potter!

We're different
Different
Different, different
As can be!