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Stephen Sondheim - A Little Priest lyrics

Mrs. Lovett:
Seems a downright shame

Sweeney Todd (spoken):
Shame?

Mrs. Lovett:
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has… had… has
Nor he can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift

Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it

Sweeney Todd (spoken):
Ah!

Mrs. Lovett:
Good, you got it
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
Now, a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

Sweeney Todd:
Mrs. Lovett
What a charming notion

Sweeney Todd:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always

Mrs. Lovett (with Sweeney):
Well, it does seem a waste

Sweeney Todd:
Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you all these years
I'll never know
How delectable
Also undetectable
How choice
How rare

Mrs. Lovett (with Sweeney):
Think about it
Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies

Sweeney Todd:
For what's the sound of the world out there

Mrs. Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd
What, Mr. Todd
What is that sound

Sweeney Todd:
Those crunching noises pervading the air

Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around

Sweeney Todd:
It's man devouring man, my dear

Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett:
Then who are we to deny it in here?

Sweeney Todd (spoken):
What is that?

Mrs. Lovett:
It's priest
Have a little priest

Sweeney Todd:
Is it really good?

Mrs. Lovett:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

Sweeney Todd:
Awful lot of fat

Mrs. Lovett:
Only where it sat

Sweeney Todd:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

Mrs. Lovett:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

Mrs. Lovett (spoken):
Lawyer's rather nice

Sweeney Todd:
If it's for a price

Mrs. Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!

Sweeney Todd:
Anything that's lean?

Mrs. Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

Sweeney Todd:
Is that squire
On the fire?

Mrs. Lovett:
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!

Sweeney Todd:
Looks thicker
More like vicar!

Mrs. Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!

Sweeney Todd:
The history of the world, my love

Mrs. Lovett:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!

Sweeney Todd:
Is those below serving those up above!

Mrs. Lovett:
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!

Sweeney Todd:
How gratifying for once to know

Sweeney Todd & Mrs. Lovett:
That those above will serve those down below!

Sweeney Todd:
What is that?

Mrs. Lovett:
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!

Sweeney Todd:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!

Mrs. Lovett:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier!

Sweeney Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

Mrs. Lovett:
Then actor
It's compacter!

Sweeney Todd:
Ah, but always arrives overdone!

Sweeney Todd (spoken):
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu

Sweeney Todd:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!

Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!

Sweeney Todd:
We'll take the customers that we can get!

Mrs. Lovett:
High-born and low, my love!

Sweeney Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone

Sweeney Todd:
Meaning anyone!

Mrs. Lovett (with Sweeney):
We'll serve anyone

Sweeney Todd & Mrs. Lovett:
And to anyone!
At all!