Sammy J - Potentially lyrics

By the end of this song,
I will be dead,
And you will be naked,
And someone will have fled,
Out the door like a ninja,
In a cloud of ninja dust,
To the theme from Titanic.

Now I'm not saying that will happen,
But I can't rule it out,
'Cause you might be a ninja,
And this might be your night off,
And you came here for some,
Light entertainment,
To escape the world of ninjas,
But now I'm making fun of ninjas,
And you're fingering the Death Star,
That is hidden in your pocket,
And you're just about to throw it at my heart.

By the end of this song,
The ninja will attack.
She's just biding her time,
Waiting 'til I turn my back.
I'll be distracted,
By the fact that she's a lady.
That's her modus operandi,
It gives her the added bonus of surprise.
And she will strangle me,
With somebody's belt that she removed,
Without their knowledge in the first verse.
Everybody check your belts!
If you had one on,
But the belt is gone,
You're sitting next to a ninja.

And once the ninja flees,
I'll be on my hands and knees,
Begging for assistance,
From the crowd.
The belt-less man runs up the aisle,
But his pants are falling down.
So the final thing I see before I die,
Is the penis of an audience member.
And then someone takes a photo,
And they upload it to Flickr,
And the blogosphere goes crazy,
Saying ROFL, LOL, a comic died on stage.
And survivor guilt kicks in, and you all,
Form an online email support group,
To discuss the fact, you never could've known,
That a ninja would attack me,
Yeah, there's no way you could've saved me.
That's one way this song could finish,
But the chances will increasingly diminish,
As this song draws to an end,
And in twelve seconds I'll suspend my fear of ninjas.