Russell W. Howard - Inner Battle (2011)

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Russell W. Howard - Inner Battle lyrics

[Verse 1]
I ask you not to focus on the negative
Focus on the positive
Give you sex therapy
Much more than cognitive

You and I are opposites
Opposites attract
But on top of this
I think we both know
The problem is me

So we feel so disconnected
I try to give you life
Resurrect you

Im everything you got
Your so invested
Im restless

[Verse 2]
And all I think about is success
So please don't take it personal if I seem stressed
Therefore I am chasing something you can't provide
And I see it tear you up but you tell me you are fine (You lie)

She knows that one of these days
Something will take me away
Her life will crumble like clay
I wonder if She'll be okay

I doubt it, try not to think about it
Lets call it what it is, Im a coward

But tell me something new
That I haven't thought of yet
Some advise that I like
And I'll write you all a check

And I bet that you will tell me that I haven't found the one
And I'll tell you Im addicted to the next best song (Fade)

So tell me what do I do
What is it that I need right now
So tell me where do I go
What is it that I need right now

Cuz I aint feeling you, him or she
Not even myself right now
Im starting to lose hope
Im running on E
Not feeling myself right now

[Verse 3]
Lately I've been questioning
Everything I learned or was taught
Cuz when one battles done
There's another to be fought

Ya Im smart
Too smart for my own good
Always been too cool for the school
Im organically misunderstood

Im seeking that internal peace
Try to achieve it
By purchasing external things

Good luck, never had a lot of it
Always had to take or manipulate to aquire it
Irony is once I got it
I never wanted it
Now I feel bad having it
So I sabotage it

Im going over your head
Lift your noggin
Cuz I am doing mental sprints
No point in joggin

Spending nights with women
Ten years my older
In the morning chatting with her daughter
Sippin black folgers

To you this sounds weird
I just shrug my shoulders
Im just playin my cards
In this life game of poker

Im sick of rappin
Party this, party that
When I don't even party
Motherfuckers that's a fact

I may pop a few bra straps
Make tracks
Swim a few laps
In my pool, that's that

Reevaluating my belief systems
Im sick of hurting girls
Making them cry to their sisters

Came a long way
From the drug dens in Mall Vista (You know what)
And honestly I still miss it

And yes I understand the gift that I was given
To inspire others
Make them feel like they are doing more than living

But this gift that I was given
Puts this pressure on my shoulders
And I feel Im getting older in my bones
That is why I'd rather be alone