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Poxy Boggards - Tender Love Ballad lyrics

I met a young lass and I wrote her a song.
The words were sentimental and it didn't take too long.
'Twas rhyme and 'twas verse and a song note or two,
I quickly composed for this young lass to woo.

Chorus:
Oh, please have intercourse with me!
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e!
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!

I tuned up me lute and was off to find me lass.
This rare opportunity, I couldn't let it pass.
Right 'neath her window sill, I prepared me song to sing,
And with a hopeful heart I let the first course ring.

Chorus

I played the last chord and my heart to flutter started.
I looked up to see me true love as the window curtains parted,
But the vision that I saw was both frightening and bad.
Silhouetted in her window was the shadow of her dad! (Scream!)

Chorus

Well, I looked at him and I knew that I was dead,
And with a major rage, these are the words to me he said,
"Whatever you intended for my daughter true,
I swear by her maidenhead I will do to you!"

Chorus

Well, it goes without saying I took off with great surprise,
For the last thing that I wanted was my bottom sodomized.
How could such good intentions be turned upon their ear?
This lovely lassie's father coveting my rear! (That asshole!)

Chorus

Oh, please have intercourse with me! (I really mean it!)
Oh, please have intercourse with me-e-e! (Look at me, I'm desperate.)
Mine's a love that never wavers
When you do me sexual favors!
Oh please, please, please, please, please, please!