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Neil - Lentil Nightmare lyrics

I am having a lentil nightmare
everything has gone black
except for the lentils in the nightmare
and they're a sort of greeny, yellowy sort of colour
ah ah it's the demon lentil king
with his phallics of blood crazed virgins
riding on their motorbikes through the hurricanes of doom
to destroy everything in the universe
wearing horrible viking helmets
and driving much too fast
and they are probably over the limit as well and
I bet they have not paid any tax either
Lentil nightmare
Kill kill kill I want veins in my teeth
Kill kill kill give me some kangaroo meat quickly
Lentil Nightmare

"and though for long he had lain low in the quietness and in the
darkness, NOW WAS THE MOMENT and with one terrifying leap he sprang out of the
wardrobe wearing nothing but his Y-fronts and a pair of Wellington boots and, spying
himself in the mirror, he ripped in to one of the most amazing lead solos
on the tennis racket since Jimmy Hendrix on the Lulu show, his machine heads
glistening as he stood in a warrior pose thrusting through a wall of sound,
his high precision fingers reaching a searing climax and he did make mighty
battle with the empty bottles of Tizer on the bookshelf, and he did spend
10 minutes in deathly combat with the duvet until it was vanquished and then,
with stealth, he drew near his foe and in one all powerful blow he smote
the curtains bringing them down in a heap at his feet, and then he faced his
adversary, does anyone have a mini-cab number?"