Natalie Portman - Gangsta Rap lyrics

Chris Parnell: We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.

Natalie Portman: Hello.

Parnell: So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like?

Portman: Do you really want to know?

Parnell: Yes, tell us...

Portman: I don't sleep mother f***er
off that yak and bourbon
doin' 120 gettin' head while I'm swervin'

Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie, you a crazy chick

Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I'm bustin' dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
Roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker

Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: To drink and fight
Guys: What you need Natalie
Portman: To f*** all night

Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat
Till you s**t in my shoe
Leave you screaming
Pay for my dry cleaning
F*** your man
It's my name that he's screamin'

Parnell: I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

Portman: All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my d**k
It's Portman mother f***er
Drink till I'm sick
Slit your throat
And pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry
While I laugh you die
And all the dudes
You know I'm talkin' to you
Guys: We love you, Natalie
Portman: I wanna f*** you too
P is for Portman
P is for Pussy
I'll kill your f**in' dog for fun so don't push me

Parnell: Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there's a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?

When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t

Andy Samberg: Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (hell yeah!)
And I always pay for your dry cleanin'
When my s**t gets in your shoe
And as for the drug use
Well I can vouch for that
My d**k is scared of you

Parnell: Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–

(Portman throws chair at Parnell)
Portman: No more questions