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Molly Venter - Sit Here lyrics

Drivin the backroads of hill country
My station turned to NPR
It's 3:30 in the morning
And I could cry, but I'm not tired
Cause I don't keep normal hours anymore
I stop in to use the bathroom
At some pit-stop 7-11
And man that store just shines
Like a kid in a toy store
I am up and down the aisle
From our impulsive purchase power
They are building an empire
And we are a culture of marketing quick fixes
And I am the ultimate consumer
I buy cigarettes, diet soda,
Some sugared meal replacement bar
I have not lost my sense of humor

And the real test, the real test
Is just learning how to sit here
The real test is to feel the hole in my chest
And just let the wind blow
Cause I wanna get messed up to try
To cover up the fear that's drivin me
And I wanna stun myself sick
And pass out real quick
So that I don't have to feel so empty

And you and I we would feed off our desire
Cause it would get us so damn high
I used to need you like a drug
And nights I waited for you to come home
And I felt like I was gonna explode
But the truth is I did not know how to love
And I sit down to write your birthday card
And finally realize less is more
And besides at this point everything's been said
I am sad and I am fearful
I licked the stamp and got real tearful
Will these thoughts ever leave my head?

And the real test, the real test
Is just learning how to sit here
The real test is to feel the hole in my chest
And just let the wind blow
Cause I wanna get messed up to try
To cover up the fear that's driving me
And I wanna stun myself sick
And pass out real quick
So that I don't have to feel so empty

And now there's this girl singing up on stage
And she looks about my age
And her words come out so eloquent and true
I stop dead in my tracks
I'm shocked at my reaction
Cause I'm inspired but thinking
It undermines what I do
And I flip-flop between feeling
That I ought to be some next big thing
And that I fear they will discover me as a fake
And I say I don't care about win or lose
But I'm petrified to make one bad move
If I let it go would I discover that I am safe

And the real test
Is just learning how to sit here
To feel the hole in my chest
And just let the wind blow
And I'm not gonna get messed up to try
To cover up the fear that's driving me
And I won't stun myself sick
And pass out real quick
So that I don't have to feel so empty

I'm not going to do it just for today