Gutterball - Cheaper By The Pound lyrics

Last thing I remember
Was laughter from a joke
That I didn't think was funny
Today there's only pain
Where my memory should be
And nothing where I used to keep my money

They say I started a fight
With a man in black tights
They say today he looks worse than I do
They say his brother has connections
With witness protection
And I'm wondering who I have to lie to

I'm always
At least one step away
From solid ground
Success is finer
But I find failure
Is cheaper by the pound

There's a woman on the phone
Calling from the danger zone
For the St Louis Post Dispatch
She says she wants my opinion
Of the 27 million
And I'm wondering, "what's the catch?"

Let me tell you about a friend I met
His name is Chet
I met him on my journey
He said he lost his breath
He lost his cigarettes
But he retained his power of attorney