Eric Schwartz - Aisle B lyrics
My girlfriend got sick
And she needed a few things
But she couldn't get out of her bed
So she wrote me a list
She sent me to the drugstore
I went up to the sales girl and said
"Tell me...where are the tampons and
Tell me, how to heal canker sores
Sell me what you take with a cramp on
'cause if she don't stop whining
She won't need no tampons no more..."
That's where you'll find them
Near the feminine sprays"
Where they'd carefully aligned them
To make damn well sure
I'd be shopping for tampons for days...
So I picked up a basket, and went down and found her
Anything she could squirt or insert or inject
And when I was done
I brought them up to the counter
Where each item I bought was price-checked
Hair pluckers, zit suckers, unstuckers for stomach unease
Inner incense for a scent like a warm country breeze...
I later discovered the whole thing was a setup
They taped me from beginning to end
I shoulda known better,
This chick hasn't let up since she found out I did her best friend
I packed up my things
With my ego eroded
I went back to live with my mom
If you don't believe me
The mpeg's uploaded at "Guys Buying Tampons dot com"
Aisle b the dreams aren't stopping
Aisle b, never again
Aisle b, girls, do your own shopping
Unless you are trying to make a mess of your men....