Epic - Saskatchewan Without Douglas lyrics
Your style is phony, you ain't even from Balgonie,
I bet you never had to eat no weiners and macaroni.
If I ever see your face in Tisdale or Cypress Hills,
I'll spike your coffee with ammonia and some sleeping pills.
Sick as hell, I rock a show in Fort Qu'Appelle,
I'm down with any asshole from Wadena who has a cow to sell,
I can't wait 'til my biography is published,
Rap without me is like Saskatchewan with no Tommy Douglas
Chicks from Estevan with hair like Bob Terwilliger,
Straddle the province like the town of Lloyminster,
Some people say my style is way too sinister,
because I went down to Weyburn to catch a glance of the Prime Minister.
And I'm not talkin' about Brian Mulroney,
MC's in Regina hate me 'coz I leave up with all the groupies.
In Cypress they can't even touch my style,
So when you see me at Agribition, you better smile.
And I don't mean this as any sort of a diss,
but your raps have no point like the sword of a fish
Support the local scene? I guess I'm through,
I got some gay friends and you rap gayer than they do.
So I wish you would just take a hint,
Bad breath after your Happy Meal? You should take a mint.
After a burger, you want some Alberta beef?
I'ma step to your reservation and murder your chief.
Your rap fast is half-assed,
I play hockey in a bunny-hug and a black mask,
perform a task,
drink from a flask,
beating a rapper so hard he wakes up in the hospital thinking of the past.
Right now I'm just so goddamn happy,
You wanna drop names? I got DJ Brace to back me.
He happens to be the Canadian Champ,
a pacifist, not a terrorist in Iranian camps.
Sucker MCs shouldn'tve got outta bed like Brian Wilson.
Minus 40 with a 40 doin' 40,
Rollin' up to Deadmonton to holla at my shortie.
Don't introduce yourself, I heard your CD,
Your shit would be the bomb if this was 1993.
Too bad it ain't and that's a major deterrent,
I know boys who ain't been past Swift Current.
Your style is stuck, like in Melville, so what the fuck?
MCs need to get out they cars and buy a truck.
That's why I remain underground and Canadian,
Northern Saskatchewan's got the purest uranium.
Get in the back, lets go on this car ride,
I like The Pharcyde if you like Aaliyah.
Never let me down on so many vacations,
by the time I get to Wanuskewin.
I know our love's strong, but this ain't a love song.
It's Ira Lee's turn to drive and he's got his driving gloves on.
Come on, of all the weirdos in Canadian rap,
Epic and Ira Lee put Saskatchewan on the map.
Independent with a capital I,
My El Camino's missing a tire, but it's still fly.
Tell the promoter it's a shame,
but life ain't fair.
Our ETA is fuck off,
We'll get there when we get there.
Introduce you to my friends, and I'll introduce you to yours,
And somehow we'll get our product into these stores.
Distribution channels connected to retail,
Underground shows with very pretty females.
MCs wanna diss me when I kick my wicked rhymes,
But I'm on strike so don't cross my picket line.
And that's coming stright from the heart,
I won't turn on you like Vader to the dark.
Radiers of the Ark,
Regina MCs are so ugly,
So I try to master my art.
I'm gonna stab your DJ in Wascana Park,
Because that punk sucker won't ever lend me a dart.
I used to hang out outside of the K-Mart
until they closed it down and put a WalMart in,
Now my clothes are thin.