Envy & Other Sins - Kalifornia (O The Shitehawks Have Forsaken Thee) lyrics

I want to move to California, the girls are all much hornier. I know because I watch TV.
Oh yeah I've seen their tight bikinis, their bright red Lamborghinis,
California is the place for me.

I'd join those lovely maidens coolly rollerblading, they'd never see me falling off.
I'd maybe need to get my teeth done, a little liposuction
And then soon I'd look like Hasselhoff.

I believe the things I see, I don't want somebody telling me that I should be happy to be here,
When the California sky is so blue and clear.
I'd drive them to distraction with my British accent, then I'd reel them in for the kill
I'd overcome resistance with minimal persistence,
Or by slipping them a little pill.

But I'm stuck here in Blighty where girls don't seem to like me, they say I've got no irony.
Well things'd be much better if they'd only get a
Healthy dose of therapy.
Oh can't you see? It's all so rudimentary.
A single flight, let's leave tonight and land in the land of the free.
Oh can't you see, it's all so elementary.
A brave new world of valley girls with silicon assets for me.