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Eli Roth & Michael Bacall - Planning & Scheming lyrics

Michael Bacall :
Now, look,
You can't look like you're trying to get her out of here before Christian Simonson shows up,
But you've got to get her out of here before Christian Simonson shows up.

Eli Roth :
What's the point?
They're going to Shanna's daddy's house at Lake L.B.J. and it's no guys.
Absolutely no guys.

Michael Bacall :
Okay.
So after we bring the girls' drinks,
In fairly rapid order, but not obvious,
We order two more rounds of shots.

Eli Roth :
You think they're gonna fall for that?

Michael Bacall :
We'll be very convincing.
Now it's time to turn up the volume.
No more fucking around.
We go to Jäger shots.

Eli Roth :
Man, they're not gonna drink Jäger shots.
Michael Bacall :
Dude, as long as a guy's buying the booze, a fuckin' bitch will drink anything.
C'mon, we can at least get one shot of Jäger down these fucking bitches' throats.
After that, we'll see if they get another Jäger shot in them.
You never know.
That could be the shot that puts them past the point of "fuck it."

Eli Roth :
Then all of a sudden "no guys at the lake house"
Turns into a couple of guys at the lake house.

Michael Bacall :
My point exactly.
And I know I can at least get "Shanna Suck-my-banana" to do a fucking Buttery Nipple shot.
What's Julia's sweet shot?

Eli Roth :
Key Lime Pie.

Michael Bacall :
Oh, come on, dude.
Even fucking Leroy Brown would do one more for dessert.