Delay - Honest Effort lyrics

I'm short on ideas but I'm not short on anger and confusion
You say that I don't control my life and you don't know who I am
Well maybe I don't either
Do you see my effort? Or just the things I lack
I'm only mad 'cause I know you're right and now I'm watching my back
You look at me analytically but I'm passive towards myself
I don't know if this is good for us but I know it's bad for my health
I'm angry because you made me look at myself
I'm angry because you made me doubt myself, I doubt myself now
And my relationships they are falling apart
And I'm growing further from you
I want to say that this is someone else's fault
But it's as much me as it is you
How come I feel like I'm on trial when all I need is a friend?