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Commercial - The Epsilon Program lyrics

Voice Over:
Do you worry that nobody likes you? We’ll provide you with friends.
Kifflom! I’m the honorable Chris Formage.
Covet your neighbor’s ass no longer.
The Epsilon Program seeks out the convenient bits from every faith to create a religion that is uniquely American- expensive, promiscuous, and entirely meaningless. And unlike other major religions, we only tithe 8.75 percent. That means less for God, and more for you. All you have to do is read and understand the Epsilon Tract, and the secrets of the Universe will be open to you. Just call 1-866-FUN-CULT