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Commercial - Starfish Resort And Casino lyrics

Dad: "Oh kids, you look like we're going to another funeral.."
Kids: "Dad! We're bored!"

Voice over:
You teach your children a lot of good American values, but have you taught them how to have fun?
For family entertainment that doesn't stop, head on over to the Starfish Resort and Casino in Las Venturas!
You deserve this kind of fun.
Water slides! Shooting range! And the kids love the Giggle Dome!
Plus, we've got the hottest gaming in town! Nobody offers you more gaming value!
And you'll teach the kids some important life lessons about real Capitalism.

Son (crying): "Dad, I lost all my money!"
Dad: "You've learned a valuable lesson. Son, it's time for your first lap dance!"
Son (laughing): "Yeah! Good!"

Voice over:
Time is meaningless in the Land of Tomorrow.
It's the Starfish Resort and Casino Hotel in Las Venturas.
Mom can go all night on the one-armed bandits while the kids visit the little tikes pawn shop.

Mom: "How did you do, Sharice?
Daughter: "I busted myself and sold a kidney."
Mom: "That's my girl!"

Voice over:
Share the love with your family - the love of money.
And the Starfish Resort and Casino has the best buffet in Las Venturas, featuring our world famous Bacon Trough!

The Starfish Resort and Casino.
This kind of fun should be illegal!