Amateur Transplants - A Letter To The Patient's GP Please, Angela lyrics
Dear Dr Newland – new line.
Ree Mrs. Connor – comma.
We saw your patient Mrs Connor who presented in a coma,
And we think that what was wrong is a subdural haematoma – comma.
Her history's a mystery, her GCS was 9.
And she was on ventilation now she's stable – stop, new line.
She had a broken neck of femur, broken neck, and broken nose.
She's now in neck fixation - open brackets; brackets. Brackets closed.
We noticed her colostomy, her temporary nephrostomy.
We did a laparoscapy 'cause we thought that, apostrophy, 'd be necessary,
To elucidate any problems underlying.
Underline, err.. Underlying, please, Angela.
She had trouble with her colon, 'cause they found a mass had grown on it,
However, semicolon, it turned out to be benign.
And yet they did a large resection, from her flexure to her rrectum.
That excision's a decision I don't understand. New line.
She has... Dysdiadokokinesis – That's spelt
Dee-why-ess - dee-aai-aye-dee-oh-kay-oh-kay-ai-enn-ee-ess-ai-ess, comma.
I should also really mention that she went into retention
With a urinary infection and her leg stuck in extension - correction, flexion.
She has a cerebellar tremor, comma, possible rubella
Dyspepsia, dyslexia, and fractured left patella, comma.
We learnt that she was burnt so bad, she had to have a graft.
Now we're very happy how it looks, full stop, new paragraph.
Oh Angela... Can you add that she's on warfarin incase she has another mini-stroke – stroke, stroke.
We organised an ECG and BCG quite recently.
Her TSH and FSH were not yet back today.
But her ESR and CRP should reassure us.
So we'll see her back here in my clinic,