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Allan Sherman - The Rebel lyrics

He stood four foot eight
And wore a beatnik beard,
He had big thick glasses
That looked real weird,
He weighed ninety-eight pounds,
But a whole nation feared
The Rebel!

He had a chick named Rhonda,
A college prize.
Her long hair hung down
Over her eyes,
Kinda half Barbra Streisand
And half Joan Baez.
She dug the Rebel!

Well, they met one day
At a pop art bash,
Between a painting of a can
Of succotash
And a high camp sculpture
Of a pile of trash -
It was groovy!

Rhonda dug the Rebel,
And the Rebel dug Rhonda,
So she grabbed her guitar,
And roared off on his Honda
To a discotheque
Called the Anaconda
With the Rebel!

When the frugging was over
At the discotheque,
The Rebel was a-tryin'
To pay his check,
But his pockets they were empty
So he yelled, "Oh, heck!"
"Heck," said the Rebel.

Well, the Dean walked by
Just as that occurred.
He said, "You can get expelled
For what I just heard.
Don't you realize 'heck'
Is a four-letter word,
You Rebel?!"

But the Rebel said
To his old adversary,
"Just as long as that word's
In the slang dictionary,
I swear by Peter,
Paul & Mary,
I'll use it!"

"Furthermore," said the Rebel,
"I won't let the issue pass.
The whole student body's gonna
Sit down en masse.
Besides, that way,
We don't have to go to class.
We're gonna clew it!"

Well, the sit-in started
'Bout 7:15.
The whole thing was covered
by Time Magazine.
They even took Batman
Off the TV screen
To show the Rebel!

Out came the captain
Of the state police,
Arresting lots of students
For disturbing the peace,
Including his own son,
His daughter, and his niece,
And the Rebel.

Someone called the governor
To see what he could do.
The governor said, "Sorry,
But I cannot talk to you.
'Cause I'm a-sittin' in
At the state house too,
Just like the Rebel!"

Soon the secondary schools
Began to rebel.
Kindergarten kids were sitting
During show and tell.
Then the older generation
Started sitting down as well.
Man, what a protest!

Doctors sat, firemen sat,
Teachers wouldn't teach.
People sat at home
And on the street and on the beach.
Just a-sittin' and a-waitin'
For freedom of speech.
Nobody was talkin' to anybody!

The nation was in trouble,
There wasn't any doubt.
The President went on TV
To try to pull us out.
And the President shouted,
"What the heck's it all about?!"
"Heck," said the President!

Soon everyone was saying "heck"
They said it everywhere.
And the Rebel said to Rhonda,
"This is terribly unfair.
Being hip is getting middle class,
Let's you and I be square."
And they did, they squared it up.

Rhonda got a haircut,
The Rebel shaved his beard.
They were married and had children,
Which they subsequently reared.
They moved out to the suburbs
And they really disappeared.
Wow, did they conform!

Folks built a statue of the Rebel,
Just to prove the people's love.
But the public soon forgot it,
Just the pigeons up above
Seem to know the right location.
They've all found that statue of
The Rebel.