A Masterpiece Of Failure - Craving lyrics

I search for destruction, life
Somewhere safe to live
A courageous way to die
A heart lost to a kiss
The pain from an angel
Not to see her again
To be with her forever
I long for war
I crave a peaceful state
I want to find a ghost's lost soul
I crave bloodshed of the wicked
I wish to forgive
To hear a beautiful symphony
To rip apart what's her name
To hold she who is the same
Why do I pretend to forget?
Why do I long for these things?
Maybe it's because I know I can't do either
Because I lost my mind to this endless love
How can I lose it?
If it's locked up inside
And if let go
How much longer will I have to live?
When I know ill surely die